We Are Unwritten
by captaindynamite
Summary: The journals of various muses, both OCs and not, all collected into one spot. Contains slash and not slash.
1. Chapter 1

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

Dear Journal,

I don't like journals, but Jeremy suggested I start one when we first got together. I was a wreck, constantly popping pills and getting drunk, trying to kill myself. Whatever was possible, I tried to do it. So he suggested a journal to help me adjust to things. It's very helpful. Now I need to get to my point for writing in this today.

I despise Max Buck, well not really but he can go fall in a hole somewhere. Just when I need my Jeremy around the most, his stupid ugly brother has to take him from me! It's a crime to do that! Especially now with us having our baby girl, Jessica. I can't handle that little ball of energy as well some would like to think. I just can't! I know I'm a hyper boy myself, but it's not right.

I love my baby girl, I really do. She's a spitting image of me and Jeremy if we were actually capable of having a child, which were not. Jessica doesn't like when one of us leaves for something. She flips out majorly without both of her daddies around. That's why I have to continuously bring her and Jer to work at my school whenever I gotta work. But uh, I'm getting off subject.

Yesterday, Max called up saying Jer had to come to his house for some random wrestling show. I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy trying not to fall asleep all curled up on my Jer. It was a nice quiet morning after a few issues and me being sick, still am sick. But my point is being lost. Max calls up and orders Jer home for a show. And of course, Jer goes! I can't believe it!

So here I am, a few hours later, trying to keep Jessica from flipping out. She's been throwing tantrum after tantrum ever since Jer left and I'm at my wits end. I finally got her to quiet down by putting her favorite movie on, but that's only going to last for so long. I can't take care of a three year old child on my own, it's physically impossible. In one of her tantrums, she threw a bunch of dolls at me. She got put in time out, and after that was over, she did it again. She really doesn't like when one of her daddies leaves her. This is pathetic.

I fucking despise Max Buck.

- Reddy 1/14/12


	2. Chapter 2

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**I figured before I got too far into this that I'd introduce the OCs of the journal since most people won't know who they are.**

**Haylee Jacobs** – Haylee is the only daughter of WWE Superstar, Kane. Born on December 16th 1990, Haylee is 21 years old and currently doesn't work anywhere. She visits any of the wrestling promotions she so chooses, but she usually spends her time at WWE or FCW. Haylee lives with her boyfriend Bo Rotundo in a house that her father bought for her without actually telling her until after. She's currently engaged to be married to Bo. Portrayed by Eliza Dushku.

**Martina Corino **– Martina, though she prefers to be called Tina, is the sister of independent woman wrestler, Allison Danger. Born on August 24th 1983, Tina is a proud mother of a two year old boy named Aidan. She's currently dating and living with Curt Hawkins, who has also chosen to adopt Aidan as his own. She prefers calling Curt "blondie" has been hard at work getting Aidan to call him the same. Portrayed by Kaley Cuoco.

**Sierra Hickenbottom – **Sierra is the daughter of WWE Legend, Shawn Michaels. She was born Mikayla Sierra Hickenbottom, but she prefers going by Sierra. Sierra was born on February 9th 1987, and works at Impact Wrestling as their ring announcer. Take Cristy Hemme out from real life, and that's what Sierra does. Sierra, despite her father's distaste, is dating superstar Gunner. Portrayed by Ashley Greene.

**Rydell Borden – **Rydell is the son of Impact Wrestling superstar, Sting. He despises his father more than life it's self. Born on November 9th 1979, Rydell works for Impact Wrestling as the guy that starts the music and pyro whenever a superstar heads to the ring. He prefers having his boyfriend under the table satisfying him while he works. Speaking of his boyfriend, Rydell is dating superstar, Ken Anderson. He calls him Kenny Boy. Portrayed by Shane West.

**Scotty ****Rechsteiner – **Scotty is the son of Scott Steiner, raised mostly by him and his brother Rick. Scotty doesn't know who is mother is, nor does he care. Born on June 20th 1977, Scotty is extremely cocky, but he doesn't act anything like his dad. He works at Impact wrestling as their security, and is currently dating Angelina Love. He's been with one other knockout, but he refuses to tell Angelina about it. Portrayed by Jason Sokody.

**Danielle Brooks – **Danielle Brooks, though she prefers Dani, is the younger sister of Traci Brooks. Born on April 15th 1988, Dani currently works as a personal assistant to the Knockouts. She's currently dating Joey, the son of Bubba Ray, but she's been with other guys in the past, such as Rob Terry and Jesse Neal. Portrayed by Lacey Chabert.

**Ariana Hart – **She is one of the many daughters of Bret Hart, and currently works at FCW as their seamstress. Born September 24th 1988,Ariana is dating Husky Harris, but she's got a stalker in the form of Leo Krueger. She hates the man, wants nothing to do with him, but he doesn't understand that. Portrayed by Alexis Bledal.

**Regina Ellington** – She is a regular girl, unlike the others, but she prefers to be called Reg or Reggie. She absolutely hates the name Regina. Born on March 15th 1986, Reg is currently working for as a waitress at night, but she's trying to get back into working at FCW. She used to be one of their Divas, having to work with Corey Graves, but she was fired not too long ago. She's currently dating Richie Steamboat, whom she calls Richie Boy. Portrayed by Christina Perri.

**Jayden Black – **She is the older sister of Impact Wrestling star, James Storm. She's not a drinker like her brother, at least not a heavy drinker. She lies sometimes and says she doesn't drink when she actually does. She's had many drinking contests with her brother. Jayden, though named Jade by her boyfriend, was born on November 24th 1975 and is a complete nerd. She absolutely despises Scott Steiner and goes out of her way to mess around with him. Speaking of her boyfriend, Jayden is dating Chris Daniels. Portrayed by Nikki Reed.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

January 15th 2012

Dear Diary-Thing,

I'm not sure why I'm even doing this. I found this book in a box under the bed, so I decided what the hell and decided to write in it.

Today I got a phone call from Chris. It was the first time I had any contact with him since we broke up, and he attacked me for it. Yeah, he didn't take that very well. I guess I can't blame him, but at the same time, it was his fault. If he hadn't ignored me for other things, other women, then I wouldn't have dumped him. To think I was cheated on by him with a woman. And here I was thinking he was gay.

In my frustration over it, he called me a gold digger and a slut, I got drunk. Now, I haven't drank much lately, I try to stay away from it. Last time I got drunk, Sorensen and Kash tried to get way too close with me. It didn't work out for them, but still, I try to avoid the drinking. But, I was so upset by what he said. Plus, after all of it he said he wanted me back. As if I'd go back to him. I may be stupid sometimes, but I know when someone is trying to hurt me. Well, most of the time.

I got drunk, he called me all sort of names, and he said Austin would cheat on me just like he did. And no, he wasn't Chris. It was someone else. There was someone long ago that I was completely devoted to before Chris, someone that I saw myself with forever but things like that don't last. I haven't seen him in years, but he really destroyed my stability. That's probably why I'm such easy prey for Sorensen and Kash, and such a pain in the ass for Austin to care about. But I love my Austin. I love him more than I love myself, and that's saying something. He makes me happier than I ever have been, but there's always that bit of doubt, that bit of me that makes me wonder if it's all too good to be true. Whenever that happens, I just glance at the earring he gave me, in place of an engagement ring, and it makes all the doubt go away.

I'm so far from sober, I probably sound nuts. Well, if anyone could hear me over my pounding music and singing. I'm drunk and dancing around our hotel room while singing at the top of my lungs. I think I scared off most of the workers, but I know I'm gonna pay come morning in more than one way. I don't care though, I'm drunk. My thoughts are everywhere on this thing, guess I should get back to my point. Chris Sabin tried to hurt me. He tried to make me think that no one would want me again, just like he's done before. I, Alex Shelley, know I'm a slut. I take pride in it, I know I've been around with a lot of people but I don't care cause…

Austin Aries loves me, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Alex "Lexy" Shelley


	4. Chapter 4

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 16th 2012

Dour Journal-thing,

I'd take a gold band on my hand  
>Over being a single man<br>Cause honestly I don't know what I'd do  
>If I'd never met a woman like you.<p>

Sure they're just song lyrics, but those are words that I live by every day. Cody may get on my nerves when she constantly asks me why I sleep all the time, or when her hormones hit but in the end, she's the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

I met Cody while at work; she was friends with Matt Hardy. I didn't think I stood a chance, truly I didn't. At the time I had Angelina Love sniffing around me as well, and I will admit I was tempted. But I took a chance with Cody, and it was the best chance I ever took. I married the woman not too long after we got together, much to the annoyance of her brother. I got approved by him in the end, and I think he's warming up to me. At least he seemed like it that one time I made him food for like an entire week. He likes my cooking I think, but I won't tell his boyfriend that. Anyways, I'm missing my point here.

Cody is a sight sometimes nowadays with her pregnancy. She's either screaming her head off about something, or running off. Like the other day when she went to visit her friend without me. I don't mind, I had other things to do. Then she came back all happy and excited and wanting to do stuff together, I guess to make it up to me. And then today came.

Earlier today, while we were getting the last things done before the baby came, she decides it'd be a great idea to try and put up the new drapes. Now, Cody isn't tall. At least compared to me she isn't. So doing that would have been really hard. Boy was I right. I walked back in after taking out some trash and she's all wrapped up in the drapes, grumbling to herself. Cutest sight I've ever seen.

Once I got her untangled, she told me what she was trying to do so I helped her out. And by helping her out, I mean I lifted her up and let her do it all herself while holding her up. She was so happy that she was able to do it herself, though she got a bit of help obviously. We finished up the room after that incident and went downstairs for Disney movies, just for her, and pizza for both of us. It was a great way to relax.

Her hormonal changes may be the end of me.

Crimson

**The Cody mentioned is an OC of my friend [MissMandaDiesel] who is adorable and spunky, and the sister of Christian, and the boyfriend of Christian is Edge. Yeah, there you go.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 16, 2012

Dear Diary,

Ugh, I haven't used this thing since I was little and was screaming about Daddy leaving me for work. I just glanced back at the pages and man was I angry. I guess it's not shocking, I've always been daddy's little girl. Thank god he took me to the shows once I was older, but those days when I was younger were the worst.

Now, being the daughter of Kane, it's not surprising that I'm a bit tentative about things. I know my dad wouldn't hurt a fly outside of the ring, but damn it, he still scares me. I can't look past the muscles, the height he has on me, all of it. He scares me; he used to be the monster in my closet quite literally. But I'm getting off subject.

Day before yesterday I found out I'm pregnant, pregnant with the child of my fiancée Bo Rotundo. I'm completely excited over this, but at the same time I'm terrified. Daddy wasn't exactly sweet and welcoming to Bo when he found out we were dating. I'm not even sure why. I guess he doesn't like the thought that I'm growing up and got to move on from being his daughter all the time. I can understand that, but I don't want a murdered boy for my fiancée or father of my child. And yet, that's what I think I'm going to get.

I'm terrified to tell dad, I don't know what to do. No one can really help me. I'm thinking of enlisting Big Show to help me out. He can hold him if he wants to pounce on me, or go after Bo for all of this. I guess that'd work. But damn it, I'm still scared. I don't know if this is such a great idea.

Maybe I should have used a condom. Hm.

The Devil's Favorite Daughter, Haylee

**This is my first time writing for Haylee ever. She's my baby, my first OC ever. So enjoy her.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 17, 2012

Book-thing,

It's ridiculous they're forcing us to use these after the fucking up Hardy did with his fucking life. It's not my fault the bastard doesn't know how to say no. It's not, alright. I don't give a flying shit about him, or his problems. He could fall off the face of the earth, he could seize to exist at this point and I wouldn't shed a tear like his horrible, annoying, and loud fans.

That was probably harsh, but I don't give a damn. I miss my fucking boyfriend right now. I've been trapped in this god damn fucking bed for the past three weeks now, and I HATE it. All I was doing was chasing some kids up the stairs when one decides to suddenly go back down and somehow knocked into me, and I fell down the stairs. Lucky me, I got a concussion from it. The amount of times Kenny has put me through mirrors and walls, and I get a concussion from falling down the stairs.

Anyways, my dad, Sting, isn't fond of me being with Ken Anderson, my boyfriend. Ever since we got together, he's been hell bent on keeping us apart. I know he doesn't like being gay or anything, but I would think he'd be happy with me having someone that I love and someone that makes me happy. I guess not. But anyways, dad put me to bed once I was out of the hospital, and here I've been stuck for three weeks without any sight of Ken. It's lonely and I miss Ken a lot. My hand can't keep me company for much longer.

I actually think dad has given in to me complaining. How do I know? I can hear him on the phone talking to a Ken. It has to be my Ken; I know it is because I can hear him telling him to come here. I want my boy and it looks like I'm going to get him.

Thank fucking god.

Rydell Borden


	7. Chapter 7

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 17, 2012

Dear Diary,

I haven't had a diary since I was little; I think it was part of my parent's act to get me to be like a girl. Except I'm not a girl, I just like dressing up like them.

Earlier today I took my boyfriend out for the most amazing day ever. It was a pretty slow adventure due to him still being hurt but he deserved. Never have I had to sit through such crap like I had to last night when I watched my Zack lose his title. Worst experience ever. Anyways, I took him to Disneyland. We ran into Jack and Evan there, but it wasn't for long. I know Zack is still upset with Jack over what happened, though truthfully, it wasn't Jack's fault. But anyways, back to what we did.

We went on all of the fun and fast rides after we got him some Tylenol so he wouldn't hurt too much. See, I can be caring sometimes. I took him to every location I knew of that we could see all the fun characters. Zack couldn't stop smiling, and in turn, it made me really happy too. We had to leave after that though, but Zack was able to fill up his book with signatures and our entire disposable camera.

I somehow managed to drive all the way to Vegas for work tonight. I'm not even sure how I did it, last time I drove a car I got us in an accident, I hurt Zack really badly then too. Somehow, I managed and got him up to the hotel room. He fell asleep as soon as he fell down on the bed, it was so cute. I left for work then so I wouldn't disturb him, and that's where I am now, waiting for things to get started.

Yoshi keeps talking to me in his native tongue, and I have no idea what he's saying. Curt and Reks are busy trying to change without falling over because they're laughing at me writing in this diary. I don't care, I like having this thing. After they calm down, we're gonna head out and start mocking the wedding later.

The joys of working on NXT I guess.

Trent Barreta


	8. Chapter 8

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 18 2012

Have you ever seen a man act like a dog just to get his tummy scratched? Of course not, you're a book. Well I have, it happened last night.

I was sitting on the bed playing with my new puppy, Cooper, when Caleb came wandering in to the room saying I forgot about him. I hadn't really. I took my bath because I felt icky after being around Traci Brooks for so long and anyways when I got out he was working, so I left him alone. I didn't think it would cause any problems, but apparently it did. He got a bit upset over it.

So he decides he's gonna whine and beg like Cooper to get my attention. I didn't think he would, I didn't think he was that silly. But he did it; he held his hands up like puppy paws and whined at me. It was incredibly adorable! I gave in pretty easily to him whining at me and started scratching his tummy to make him feel better. He started squirming around because it tickled but I kept going until he fell off the bed. After that Cooper decided to jump on him, like it was literally attack of the cute puppy.

I told him only big boys get to stay on the bed and he came right up to me. He then decided to share with me that there was one thing my cute little Cooper couldn't take that was Caleb's and that was his heart. It was so cheesy but I loved it either way. I told him I preferred another part of him though, and he gave me that.

And now here I am laying in bed with his arms wrapped all tight around me, and I can hear him snoring in my ear. Not that I mind, I feel so safe in his arms. Unlike how I felt when I was with AJ. With him I always worried that I was gonna do something wrong. I don't have that with Caleb, and I'm glad I don't. He's everything I wanted and more, I'm incredibly lucky.

Even if he acts like a dog.

Frankie "Kazzy" Kazarian


	9. Chapter 9

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 21, 2012

Last night, Jer and I decided to watch the new PWG Fear DVD. We had gotten a copy, well they were gonna give us two but we decided to let Max have the other, and decided to watch it since we wanted to see how good or bad our matches were. We watched his first since it was going to take longer, and it was more brutal. Figured my match would be a nice way to ease back down. Boy was I wrong.

We had just finished his match and we were starting up mine. Now, in our profession, it's not hard to have really sexual looking matches. Sometimes we just land in awkward positions. I never realized how much of that was in my match with Roddy. Yeah, I call him Roddy. Anyways, we were watching and all of that stuff stood out to us. Slowly but surely Jer started getting really annoyed over it. It's not like I had any control over it when it happened, it just did.

By the time my match was done, Jer was fuming. He left me alone in the living room to the watch the rest of the show by myself while he went for a walk to calm down. I didn't finish the show; I just turned it off and tried to go to bed. Problem was, he wasn't back by then. He wasn't back two hours later. I started to get worried but I couldn't go after him, I couldn't leave Jess at home. And speaking of Jess, it's like she knew something was wrong. She woke up screaming and crying, and wouldn't let me leave her room until she fell asleep.

I know Jer and I had a lot of problems the other day. I know he found out about my depression and my drinking habits coming back, but that doesn't mean he needs to run off and stay out late just because he's upset. It bothers me, it bothers Jess. It was a very selfish thing to do. Thankfully, he came back a few hours later and found me asleep in Jess' bed. He woke me up and took me back to our bed, which is a lot more comfortable than a bed built for a kid. I woke up before him this morning, and tied him to the headrest so he can't run off anymore. I suspect he won't like it, but tough.

I don't like being abandoned, especially after something as stupid as a few sexual positions in a wrestling match. Quite honestly, I'm surprised he didn't get upset at the show or after. I guess, looking back, he must have been tired, as was I, and didn't have the energy. I guess now was his chance to get upset, and he abandoned us over it.

And he says I'm the troublemaker. As if.

Amazing Reddy


	10. Chapter 10

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 22nd 2012

As much as I hate plane flights, I've found they're great for thinking about things, and working through stuff that I got to deal with. With the lack of inexpensive alcohol on these flights, I've grown to limit myself at getting drunk on a plane. Plus, Robert saying he refuses to pay for my drinks anymore helps a fair bit. I did manage to get one drink though after stealing money from him when he left briefly to use the bathroom.

Many men in our business have used plane flights to join the mile high club; I've done it too with this one chick I used to go with. Not so much with Robert. I guess he feels he's above that stuff. I don't know, he's strange in that way but I've accepted it. But, lots of other guys have done it, like right now I can see Austin and Alex creeping into the bathroom right now. The flight attendants haven't noticed, or if they have they don't care. I think they get off hearing the noises from the bathroom quite honestly. I'm not even sure how they ended up on our flight, well actually yeah I know how; they got diverted to JFK due to the weather and got on our plane. Lucky us.

But, back to my dilemma for this flight, well it's not really a dilemma it's more of a slight problem. Before the flight, I got a message from my ex-girlfriend about having her and our child come out to see me and Robert after we got back. Normally, that wouldn't be bad, Robert and her get along really well, and we all love my little Gabriel, but it made me think. Years ago, I dated this woman named Jetta Jarrett, the younger sister of Jeff Jarrett. Jeff never liked it, he spited us all the time, saying we were going to last. I guess he was right in the long run, but at the time, I absolutely loved her. I wanted to marry her, settle down with her, all of that cheesy shit. Anyways, I got her pregnant and that's when the problems started. Or rather, that's when I realized I wasn't really in love with her; I was in love with the idea of being in love. Lame I know but it's true.

I broke up with her before she gave birth to our kid, but I was still there for the birth, I still accepted that he was my son. I still do to this day. But after we broke up, I got with Robert. I learned shortly after I broke up with her that the reason there was no spark between us anymore, and all the drama with her brother that I had dealt with helped too, was because I was because I was gay and in love with my male best friend. Robert and I got together around the time Gabriel was born, and while he wasn't our child, Robert accepted him pretty well. He still does even to this day. I guess it's not really that bad, but it makes me wonder sometimes. It makes me wonder if all of this was worth it. I mean, I got a kid with a woman I don't care about anymore, and a boyfriend that I love more than anything.

In the end, I still have Robert. I always had him I think. I love Robert a lot, and I wouldn't change anything after I got with him. But sometimes I wonder if all of the crap before it was worth it. If none of that had happened, I wouldn't have him.

Nor would I have him sleeping on my shoulder and drooling on my shirt, ew. Maybe these long flights aren't good for thinking, my head hurts. Where's my beer?

Cowboy James Storm


	11. Chapter 11

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 22, 2012

I Alex Shelley have never seen myself as the marrying type. All my life I was with one girl or guy after another. I never settled down long, I was always off to sleep with the next person and move on. That's what I thought love was. I didn't think it was anything more than a cheap fling in some run down hotel in the middle of nowhere. Believe me; I've done that more than once.

And then this man walks into my life, the greatest man that ever lived, Austin Aries. We had met a long, long time ago. Well, in actuality it was only a few years, but it felt longer. We worked really close together, we were a team, and we were friends. I could trust Austin with anything; even before I had Chris I was able to trust Austin like I did him. And then, I fell head over heels for him. I did all I could to make sure I was around him whenever possible. I even, well it's embarrassing, but I even caught him jerking off in the locker room once. I taped it to watch, but I deleted it a while back, though it was pretty hard to not go in the room and help him out, I will admit that. I was completely taken by the guy, and then he left. I tried to say goodbye, I went to he airport and everything, but he was gone already. It hurt badly, and I thought I would never see him again.

The day he walked out of my life, I devoted myself to Chris. Sure I had flings on the side, but I always went back to Chris. That is until he completely ignored me one day when I was hurt physically and sick. After all the time I spent devoting myself, and even taking care of him while he was injured, something he never did for me, he still left me. And then, Austin came back into my life. He was cold, he was mean, or so I thought until I found out it was all because of Chris. I noticed my feelings for Austin were still there, still as strong if not more so than they were before. We got together, and well we've been through hell together.

Since dating him, I've had more and more people hitting on me, asking me to sleep with them. I never gave in, I always ran back to Austin's arms. We had our fights over things, but nothing that ever drove us apart. Then we get to yesterday, and the whole point of this thing. He took me to my favorite place, Chuck E Cheese, and there, after I got a kick out of the ball pit, he got down on one knee and proposed to me. I of course said yes and we were officially an engaged couple.

And now here I lay in bed, Austin snuggled up close to be from behind. My back is aching with bruises, and I can see some scratches littering my chest and my stomach. There's a beautiful ring on my finger, and there's a special ring waiting at a jewelry store for Austin. I told him earlier that I was going to get him a ring; well I already have one picked out. It's a silver band, simple really, with amor vincit omnia engraved on the inside. I can't wait to get home to get it. My baby deserves everything in the world.

Who knew Alex Shelley was the marrying romantic type? I didn't.

Lexy Shelley


	12. Chapter 12

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 23, 2012

I hate traveling overseas knowing that my pregnant wife is back home. Yesterday morning was quite possibly the worst morning ever. She wouldn't stop crying the night before, and because of it, neither of us could really sleep. I couldn't blame her, but it's the part of marrying a wrestler, we got to go away for a while sometimes. I guess it's kind of my fault for not telling her that I was scheduled for the tour until it was almost too late, but I honestly didn't know until then. They kept changing stuff around on me.

Now I'm stuck in Europe while my girl is pregnant back home. It sucks so much. I haven't been away from her since…well I don't know when but it was only for a few days, not for a week or so. I always told her I wouldn't be this gone long, but damn it, I had no control over it this time. And instead of being home with her, I'm stuck in a hotel room with Matt Morgan.

I hate sharing with him. He always has the room down to nearly freezing, and he doesn't like the TV on late. He doesn't let me use the phone to call for room service; he says we should eat downstairs if we have to. He always leaves the shower running after he's done so I can get in after him, but that just freaks me out. He doesn't like when I want to sleep in, he always wants to be up early, something I absolutely despise. But, the thing that broke me and made me leave was when he said I couldn't text Cody, said I was annoying him since I kept laughing and stuff. I got upset, and left. I'm so grateful for Gunner. He let me move in with him for the rest of the trip. Thank god for Gunner, that's what I say.

But damn, I still miss my woman. I miss having someone share my bed with me, I miss getting the chance to have her help me relax after a long match, I miss holding her in my arms and kissing her whenever I want. I miss my Cody so much. I don't know how much more of this I can take, or how much longer Gunner can handle me saying "I miss Cody". I may find my own head meeting concrete soon.

This is going to be a really long week. Fuck me.

Crimson


	13. Chapter 13

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

Dear Diary,

In just four days I get to marry the man of my dreams, the guy that's pulled me back from so much, my Jeremy, or Nick as he was born named. I just prefer calling him Jeremy, or Jer.

Over the past few hours, while watching him play with our beautiful daughter Jessica, I've been unable to stop myself from thinking back on everything that we've been through in the five or so months we've been together. I guess you'd think marriage after only being together for five months would be a bit of a rush, but we love each other, and I want to keep Jer as mine and mine only.

I remember when we first started dating. Jeremy had come by my apartment to visit, after running off from his brother. I hadn't really talked to him all that much while we were at work, well when he first came to the company, up until they forced all of us tiny guys into one big story. We were together all the time and we got to know each other pretty well. I remember thinking how adorable I thought Jeremy was, but I never knew he was gay or anything like that. Plus, at the time, I was taken so I couldn't really do anything even if I wanted to.

Anyways, he came over to visit and we just sort of hung out. It was within the few days, and by few I mean a couple days, I had realized my feelings for him were still there. At the time, I had broken up with Evan. Evan being Evan Bourne. Evan and I had dated for a lot longer than Jeremy and I have been together, and I had truly thought Evan was going to be the one for me. He was just like me, hyper all the time, into everything, all of that. But then he broke up with me. He left me one night while I was sleeping, and I woke up to a call the next day saying he was done with me. He's since gone to be with his boyfriend Jack, and I'm happy for him. I know he's happy now, and I'm happy too, but the pain of being dumped without knowing why was hard on me.

After Evan dumped me, I fell into a deep, dark depression. I began to drink, I stopped caring about work which was why I was hardly ever used, I began drugs, and I began trying to kill myself. During all of this, I found myself drifting from one person to the next. I got drunk one night and had an altercation with Bubba Ray. No one knew about it except Tommy, my big brother. He may not be my real brother, but he's close enough. The thing is, I never admitted what actually happened. While drunk, I willingly went with Ray to his room and had sex with him. I was just so empty and deprived, I took whatever I could get and that was Ray. He was brutal though, and the next morning I woke up pretty banged up in the bathroom. After Ray, I drifted to a guy that I absolutely hate, but love in the sense that he saved me once from murdering myself. Aside from that, I fell into my depression and continuously tried to murder myself. Jeremy doesn't know it, or at least I don't think he does, but the night before he came to visit, I tried to kill myself. I tried to throw myself off the balcony. But I didn't do it.

Jeremy and I began dating shortly after he came to visit. At the time, Jeremy was very shy and innocent. He loved kissing me, and holding me much like he does now, but he wasn't comfortable about the idea of sex or being naked around each other. I respected it, and looking at how he is nowadays, I can't believe that's how he actually started out. Being who I am, I began to find how hard it was to not want to jump on him and rip his clothes off. Not going to lie, that thought crossed my mind more times than I can count. And then, it happened.

I had gotten beaten up pretty badly, and I needed a prescription pill to keep me under control. Unfortunately, one night I ended up overdosing on the pills, and I nearly died. Without intentionally trying to kill myself, I nearly did it. Jeremy found me before it was too long and took me to the hospital thankfully. The situation caused a lot of drama for us, and even to this day, it still causes problems for us. The temptation to go down that path again has risen every now and again, but I haven't given in yet. I've got a daughter and a soon to be husband that need me.

After Jeremy had got me home from the hospital the next day, I decided it was finally time for me to take away his last bit of innocence. I blindfold him and handcuffed him to the bed that night, and well, we made love for the first time ever. I could tell how nervous he was, how unsure he was about it, but I went slowly, I helped him understand what was going to happen, and everything. The look on his face after all my teasing, my torture and loving was the beautiful sight in the world. I remember how engraved into mind the sounds that fell from that mouth were, how it took days for me to get rid of them. And from there, we kept up our loving making every night. Every night I made him scream my name, made him happier than any person could ever possibly be.

He became really daring after that. Like, I remember the one time he actually let me go down on him at a restaurant. It was so exhilarating and I think at the time he didn't think I'd really do it, but I did. One day I hope to get him to do it to me, but it'd have to be at a time when Jess isn't around. She doesn't need to see that.

After dating him for so long, I decided that there was no one else I wanted in my life, just him. Well, I mean, I didn't want to date anyone else. I wanted to marry that man, and damn it, I wasn't going to let some stupid gay marriage law stop me. Thankfully, we live in New York which allows it and I went out and got Jer a ring after researching all I had to do to get married to him. We had family visiting at the time, but I didn't care, I told him I had a present he had to tickle out of me. He did that and the box ended up falling to the floor where he found it and opened it to find the ring. I put the ring on his finger and we went back to the bedroom to celebrate. I don't think our family was too fond of that, but I didn't care at the time. That man was going to be mine soon.

And then there's Jessica, she's the most amazing thing that's ever come into our life. Jer and I had talked about having a family one day, and well I've never been one to wait for anything. I went to a local adoption center and found Jessica. She's a splitting image of the two of us. She's got my personality, but she's smart like Jeremy. She's got my smile, but she has his eyes. Then she's got strawberry blonde hair, Jessica is the most beautiful child I've ever seen. She knows when one of us is upset, she always finds a way to get us back together, and she hates when one of us has to leave. We take her everywhere; she's our pride and joy. We had a bit of a falling out prior to getting her though, since at the time I didn't think Jer actually wanted her. He made it seem like it was too fast too soon, but we got Jessica now and we don't regret it at all.

I've said a lot about what I and Jeremy have been through, but I think that's what makes us so perfect for each other. Jeremy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hate to think what would happen if I hadn't found him. I'd probably be dead by now, actually now that I think about it. I was so close to it all those times before; well I'd probably be dead. Yeah, I would be. Jeremy is everything I could ever ask for. He's the most beautiful man in the world, he's got the sweetest heart ever, the most adorable smile that I love to see every day, he's got an adorable laugh that makes me giggle every time I hear it, and when he holds me I feel safer than I have ever felt. It's cheesy, I know it is, but I love him, and I will always love him.

I'm marrying the love of my life in just four days.

Amazing Reddy


	14. Chapter 14

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 25, 2012

Dear Diary,

I haven't written in a diary since the day I told daddy I wasn't going to be a diva like he had wanted. All of his other children wanted to be one, but me? I was into fashion and things like that. I tried wrestling once with Nattie, but I wasn't as good as dad. I mean, I knew basics but I couldn't take how sore you were after matches. I didn't want that, I wanted to enjoy having a proper functioning body.

Anyways, I'm writing in you today because I'm very lonely. See, I started dating this fabulous southern boy that I love a lot, but he's not here right now. He's off with his brother, and taking care of him. I don't really mind, but I miss him. I wish he could have taken me with him, but at the time, I was busy. I couldn't leave; I had to do some stuff for Maxine and Aksana. Just my luck.

The boy that I fell so in love with is Windham or Husky Harris as most people know him as. We had met when I first started my job as clothing designer for FCW, and he had showed me around. I hadn't really said much since well I've always been a shy girl. I had been told by most of the divas to not waste my time with him, I guess they had figured out faster than him that I was rather taken by the boy. They had told me he wasn't in to dating, and thought all of us girls were all about looks when it came to guys and nothing more. Well, I wanted to prove that I wasn't like that, and I did. I started working around him all the time, and making him more gear than most of the other guys. He didn't seem to mind, then one day when we were talking in his locker room, he asked me out. It was simple, and I went with it.

Even to this day, I can't believe I slept with the guy on the first date. Daddy had always raised me to be completely opposite of that. He had told me I was supposed ot wait until marriage, but damn it, I wanted my boy apparently. It didn't cause us any problems, so I don't think there's a problem with us not waiting.

We've been together for three months now….it's hard to believe it's been that long. I mean, considering I remember all I mentioned so easily. Since then, I've developed a stalker in the sense of Leo Kruger, but it's not too bad. He's been quiet in that sense for a while, so maybe he's finally decided to leave me alone. I don't know. He did mention the last time he had come around that he really admired some of my photos. I had no idea what he was talking about until Nattie told me about some of the photos of myself from my….more adventurous time had finally been put up online. Lucky me.

I sure hope Windham doesn't see them, he may wonder what happened to turn me from wild child to sweet, shy lovely me.

Ariana Hart


	15. Chapter 15

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 26, 2012

For as long as I've been with anyone, I've always been a bit of a sex addict. Well, maybe a bit is an understatement.

When Caylen and I first got together, Caylen used to call me his sexy kitten cause well, I was like a sex kitten. I've always craved having someone buried in me, and thankfully, Caylen was able to keep up with me. I'm kind of surprised he was so willing, but I guess I should be grateful. I don't think I could ever have a man that wasn't willing to sleep with me every night. Or so I thought anyways.

As of late, Zack has been getting hurt, a lot. I've made that known well enough in my other entries. The company is a real dickhead when it comes to how they use my Zack. And because of their latest use of him, he's gotten so banged up that he can't do much. This, this is a problem for me. Zack and I used to make love every night, sometimes even more than once a night. It was how we'd relax after a long day of work or travel. Whoever got stuck in the rooms next to us probably hated us every night; we tend to get a bit loud. Not my fault though, I've always been a bit of a screamer.

But, because of his injuries, these nights have stopped. They stopped back on Monday, and I figured it was just going to be a one night thing. He was in the hospital, he couldn't do anything. We were only really able to do one thing that night, so to make him feel better and ignore his pain; I sucked him off in the hospital bed. It was my first time doing something like that, surprisingly, but it settled him down and helped him relax. I bet Curt is glad he left when he did.

Then it came to the next day. I had to leave him in our hotel room with our new puppy, Maxxy. Yeah, I bought him a dog. Well I bought it a while ago, but we only recently got it. Anyways, I went to work and got beaten up by Slater. I got my ribs bruised by the barricade, and got dumped on my head. Then I had to eat Orton's finisher for the end of my night. It was a horrible night of work really for me. I came back to the room and found Eve all over Zack. I threw her out and well, somehow I and Zack ended up fighting. He couldn't do anything to make me feel better, and I was hurting. In the end, we pretty much did the only thing he was capable of doing. Zack sucked me off that night to satisfy me. It wasn't much, but it was good enough, I had to use my incredible flexible skills to get up to him since he couldn't move much.

Wednesday comes and we're back at home. Zack is stuck in bed, of course, and I'm left to do everything else. I cleaned the house, washed his clothes or rather started on it, and worked on fixing up food whenever he was hungry, along with doing everything that he needed. I went to bed that night with nothing from him. No making love, no getting sucked off, nothing. He was fast asleep by the time I got there, so I just went to sleep. Ha, what sleep? He woke me up every few hours with a new problem, and I wasn't able to properly sleep at all.

We come, finally, to today. I'm back doing my house wife chores, and although Curt came over to visit and told me to stop working, I was incredibly grouchy to him. I'm exhausted, I'm sex deprived, I'm annoyed, all of it. He finally got me to take a nap though. I fell asleep using his lap as a pillow and woke up hours later to him gone and Zack still asleep. And that's where I'm at now. He's asleep; I'm about ready to cry from how frustrated I feel.

Three nights, I think I have every right to be frustrated. I know it's petty to be frustrated over no sex for three damn nights, but gosh I need it. That's part of how I am. My body craves the need to have a guy buried in me, satisfying me. That's how I am, I can't change that. I know it's not his fault that he's stuck without being able to do much, but I just wish there was something he could do to help me. And no, sucking me off doesn't help me. That just…that just gets rid of the need for a few hours, and then I'm back to where I was before.

The temptation of wanting Caylen back has crossed my mind. I got slapped for saying I wanted him back by Curt, and he had every right to slap me. I don't need Caylen, but then, I do need a good fucking and that's what Caylen was always good for. No matter how hurt he was, how tired he was, any of that, he was still able to satisfy me.

I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I don't know how much longer I can deal with him.

And that scares me.

Trentylocks Barreta


	16. Chapter 16

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 27, 2012

I've hit a dark spot in my life, a spot that at night I wonder if I'm ever going to pull myself back out of it. I guess it's my own fault for screwing up so badly, but at the time, I wasn't thinking. I guess knowing that the head boss man doesn't like you wasn't enough for me; I had to go fuck things up even more.

I can handle losing my career, I can find work anywhere, I can handle losing my friends, I've got more that can look past the fact that I did drugs once. I can't handle them taking my boyfriend away from me. That…that shatters what's left of my confidence, my reality.

Jack and I haven't been together long, but we've known each other for a really long time. We met when I debuted, I was backstage after Kofi had left me so I could go get changed. We were going to go get to know each other better after our match, that's when I ran into Jack. I was in the locker room and he came in to introduce himself. I don't even really remember what happened. I just remember he was somehow down on his knees helping me change, and he was taking off my pants. He stopped and ran after placing a series of kisses to my stomach and hips. I don't even know why he did that, but damn did it send the rest of me into frenzy.

We were always together after that, whether it was traveling together, secretly of course, or competing in the ring. I still recall how turned on I was the first time he did pushups on me in the ring with his hands splayed on my ass. That's when I realized I had to have this man as more than just a friend. Too bad I didn't do anything about those feelings at the time.

I had dated other guys instead, always sleeping around and fucking guys that never once cared about me like Jack did. I kept trying to prove to myself that I didn't need someone that loved me; I just needed someone to fulfill my needs. Name anyone on the roster at work and I've probably slept with them, or got down on my knees for them in the locker room. I guess it's not surprising that I became the locker room whore pretty fast. Still am to a certain extent but not as bad. Someone else took my position, poor them. Now I only get down on my knees for Jack.

I remember the first time we kissed. It was right before a match we were going to have together. He came in to ask me about my match, asked me who I was going against. We got really close, and at some point he asked if I wanted a kiss, then we kissed. It was like the entire world stopped around us, and it was just us. I know that's cheesy, but that's how I felt. I completely forgot about our match until we broke apart for air. His face was so flustered, and I still remember how out of breath I was. It was magical, and then I realized I truly wanted that man.

And then, then there was the one time I had got down on my knees for him for the first time. It was after I had broken up with my last boyfriend. He came into the locker room to talk, and somehow we started talking about my ass. He was admiring it, and I couldn't blame him. I got a nice ass. Anyways, somehow I ended up on my knees and sucking him off right there in the locker room. Those soft sounds spewing from his mouth were beautiful, and stuck with me for the rest of the night as he left to work, I didn't care about work after that. I just wanted him back and to have him like that again.

It wasn't long after that that we slept together. He was so different compared to the boys I've been with. He was soft and tender where necessary but he was so powerful and strong at the same time. I remember seeing stars that night as we made love for the first time; I still remember the screams that escaped my mouth. No one had ever made me scream out of pleasure and not pain before.

And now, now I sit alone at home in the dark. It's just like how I've been left before by others. I'm wrapped up tight in one of his sweaters, the smell of his cologne still on the material. I had been traveling with him, but I got caught. I got told if I didn't leave right then, I wouldn't be able to come back to work ever again. I remember how hard I cried, how much I clung to Jack. He took me to the airport and I left, I came back home. I've been in this spot on my bed for the past…three days now. I haven't slept much, I haven't really eaten, and I haven't spoken to anyone. I've become a hermit, and it's my entire fault.

He's due here today or tomorrow for the big show, here being St. Louis. Yeah, I'm hiding at home with my parents, hiding in my old bedroom. I know they've told him I'm here, but I don't care. I'm a hermit, and that's all I'm going to be. I don't need him, I don't need anyone.

I've fucked up everything, and I'm going to lose everything.

Evan Bourne


	17. Chapter 17

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

January 31st, 2012

_Tonight I feel so alone, this sorrow takes hold_

They say absence makes the heart grow stronger, but well fuck that. By now, Caleb would be in Tennessee, visiting with Jayden. Jayden was in a severe car accident, and because of it, she barely remembers stuff. Caleb, being so close to her, knew he had to go see her. I knew it too, but at the time, I was sleeping so I didn't know what was going on until he started yelling at me.

Yelling is something we do a lot in our relationship. I'm not even certain why. Well, I shouldn't say that. I know why we fight. It's my own fault most of the time. I've always been a selfish guy. A lot of the time, I only focus on myself, but I mean, that's just how I am. You tend to get like that when everyone that's supposed to care for you, and take care of you, doesn't do that. They just let you fall.

Anyways, we fought yet again. I guess I should have noticed he was stressed out, but it was hard to see past how crappy I was feeling myself. Just a day or so before, I had gotten jumped by AJ again after the match he had with Chris. I don't know why AJ continues to jump me, hurt me, he just does. For a guy that loves me so much, it's kind of weird. So, he jumped me, I got a mild concussion from it. Nothing too bad, I'd be fine by the end of the week. At least it's better than last time when I had to lose some of my precious hair over it. It was a horrible time for me.

So, we fought, hell we even started shoving each other. We've never gotten that bad, but I was just so tired of being yelled at when it felt like a knife was ripping through my head. I gave up after I started feeling horrible, and got my pills taken and some food in me. After that, we laid around in bed for a while, just talking. That's what we needed, just to talk. It didn't last long; my pills wear me out pretty easily. We made love and I passed out right after, only I didn't stay asleep long. I woke up multiple times throughout the night from nightmares, crying and sweating like crazy. But, I never told him. I didn't see any point in it. I'd just be called selfish again, I didn't want that.

Once it got to a reasonable morning hour, I got out of bed and went to do things. I called the airport, got him a ticket to go see Jayden and one to come back to me before Thursday. Then I called up the girls, the knockouts that he's the boss of, and helped them out. After, I went and woke up Caleb, telling him all I did. He was so happy, and while I love seeing my baby happy, it still hurt knowing he was going to be leaving me alone in my condition.

And that leads us back to now, and where I'm at. I'm plopped up in our bed after having woken up from my third nap of the day. That's all I keep doing, sleeping. He hasn't called yet, or at least, I don't think he has. I don't know how to check the phone for voicemails; he didn't show me before he left. I barely know how to answer the phone nowadays. I should call the girls, find out what they want to do with their boyfriends, but it's hard, so hard, when your own boyfriend is miles upon miles away. I think I might just go back to sleep after I eat, that's the only way to pass along the time until he comes back to me.

_Each moment you're gone, is a moment too long in my life_

Frankie Kazarian


	18. Chapter 18

**This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.**

**The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.**

February 3, 2012

There's a rule when it comes to us southern folks, never ever piss us off. We're worse than those Mexicans.

Well, Bubba Ray pissed me off.

I'm not even going to call him Bully Ray. I should call him Dead Ray, but that's dumb and stupid.

Guess I should explain why he's pissed me off. Lately, Bubba has decided to touch what's mine. You never ever touch anything belonging to me. And no, I don't mean my cowboy hat. That would have sent him straight to the hospital, but no, this time he touched…my Robert. See, Robert has and always be mine. It started when we first started tagging together. I've never liked anyone laying their hands on him, for any reason. He's mine after all.

Anyways, first it was just simply giving him his belt, putting it on him, things like that. I was able to handle that. Then he started hugging him, wrapping his arm around him, touching his face. I bit my tongue over that. But I was definitely getting more agitated over it. And then, I caught him staring at Robert when he was changing in the locker room. Now, as far as I know, Bubba is a straight man. He's really devoted to the other side. But, I know when someone's admiring my boy. I've seen the look in so many eyes of the guys we work with. It's not shocking, my Robert is insanely attractive, but still, he's mine.

At the time, I couldn't do anything about it. I was due for a segment, and that was it. I swore if I caught him doing it again, he'd pay. Well, I caught him doing it again. It was tonight at the house show. Robert was getting ready for our match together, Bubba had already finished his. I had walked past the room to mention to Robert that it was almost time to go out, and I caught Bubba staring at him, admiring him.

After we finished our match, I caught Bubba in the locker room and let him have it. I nearly knocked his teeth down his damn throat before Crimson and Gunner came to yank me off him. He was a bloody mess when I left. I don't think Robert really knows what happened, just that someone jumped Bubba. Well, no by this time he's probably figured out that it was me. He's always been a smart guy; he knows when I've done something. It's like second nature with him. He always knows where I am, and what I'm doing without having to really think about it. It's one of his redeeming qualities.

I've always been possessive of my guy, my lover. I think I got it from Harris. He used to always defend me, protect me, and beat up anyone that laid a hand on me. I was the naïve one in our relationship, I didn't know much about dating a guy. But, I've grown since then. And because of that, I hate when anyone touches my Robert. Absolutely hate it. And if Bubba wants to even think about watching my boy again, he better remember the ass kicking he got together.

Robert Roode has always been and will always be MINE.

James Storm


End file.
